What is holding you back?

No judgment here, just wondering if you have ever participated in the proverbial definition of “insanity”… you know… repeating the same thing over and expecting different results. Any takers?

One thing my wife and I enjoy is “people watching.” No, we are not stalkers; we just realize how normal we are by observing people navigating this fascinating world. Is that a fair statement that we are normal based on other people? Interestingly that thought process happens all the time.

A young man told me (the other day) that he feels different depending on how people accept (or reject) him. Can people really change our feelings? What if it was possible to minimize the effects others have on you, would you be interested in learning how to accomplish that?

Disclaimer: This post is regarding general discussion and not meant for an abusive circumstance. If you are experiencing abuse that causes concern for your safety, then it would be wise to seek help through your local law enforcement agency.

We have three hummingbird feeders at our house and get to see constant activity of many tiny delicate creatures buzzing to and fro. It was quite surprising (at first) to see a system of hierarchy within these little birds. Even though we provide the sugar water free of charge, it does not take long for one of them to dominate the others and control who gets to eat and who does not. It’s amazing that something so small can be so fierce. Do the feeble ones contemplate why they are getting chased away, or do they just go find a feeder they are welcomed at?

In time, people will show who they really are, and its a lot easier to see them when they reveal the truth. Even if they chase you away from the feeder. If they behave respectfully, then they deserve the same respect in return, but if they are… as Forest Gump said “stupid is as stupid does.” Well then, you just don’t need to throw yourself into the mix with them.

Society will at times attempt to make you walk on pins and needles if you are out of the norm, or if you happen to have a different viewpoint. The crazy thing is, the only power they have is what we give them. “Oh, I want to be accepted and loved, so yes, I’ll believe what you believe and do what you want me to do.” Or maybe its motivated by fear. Either way, its just not right.

Differing opinions are very good, but the attempt for people to try and control others is very bad… Last time I checked, we were all given the same free will as the next guy. I protect mine with everything I have and will continue to do so until the day I leave this earth.

So back to the question… If you could minimize (or remove) the effects others have on you, would you want to do it?

If so, here is the secret… but you will need to pay close attention and not jump to any misunderstandings.

There is a passage in the bible (the greatest commandment) that reads, “We are to love God with all we have, and to love others as ourselves.” (Matthew 22:37-39 paraphrased). Did you catch that little nugget? “Love others as ourselves.” It says we are to love ourselves, so that we can love others… not the other way around. Don’t base your self-worth on what others think, or they will have control over you.

If you give up your mind, then you cease to exist… yeah, maybe your body is still alive, but you are not functioning the way you were meant to. Your soul is here to soar, to live, to love and explore. Never let anyone convince you that you are good or bad. Ironically sometimes people can use compliments for manipulation too, so be aware of that as well. Your uniqueness is yours alone.  Whether you are loved or hated…. You are!

What do people typically fight about anyway, is it unmet expectations? There is always an exception to this, but think about the last time you were mad at someone… Was it because you did not get your way, or they did not get theirs?

We are what we think, and have the power to choose what that is. This should give us hope for a better tomorrow.

Thoughts, comments?


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